Nothing much......

Well I have not written in a while. Don't know why. I have not been that busy, just lazy I guess or just maybe reflective to the point of not being able to choose the right words to express my thoughts. The girls are fine. Thriving if you will in a good way. Megan, conquering Hamilton in huge way, despite missing home in a real way, possibly bigger than a huge way. Lauren, challenged with the prospect of "life after school" and getting prepared for the finale of college, but not ready to admit that she is armed and ready. Is she? Only she will be able to answer that in a year or two when we are all together and she lets us in on all the thoughts she has now about the reasons for going to college in the first place. How did it prepare her? How did it seduce her? What was the point? Is she ready to take on the world like the rest of us? I don't know, and I would be willing to guess she really doesn't know right now either. I do know with certainty though, that she has had a very fulfilling college experience and has made friendships equal or even more substantial on an emotional level, as her high school ones. She has grown, matured and flourished ( how cliche) but true and I am confident she is ready to go on detached from the college buffer, into our world of ambiguity and vulnerability and complete self empowerment. She will make the decisions necessary to define her life. She will thrive and love those completely that surround her and support her in doing so. She will be OK, better than OK. I know she will be just fine.

Why say all this? I don't know. I just wanted to think out loud and I know that when I write it down I feel lighter and happier. I believe what I think to be true and I believe in my kids.

I know that we are going through a big transformation now with our kids and I am not going to miss it. I want to be a part of the ugly or wonderful happenings that come out of this period in our lives. Megan a freshman, young and vulnerable. Always questioning her choices her motives and all her efforts. Frightened at times and overwhelmed. Austin, a sophomore, feisty, withdrawn at times and yet still receptive to our suggestions. Relaxed and naive, happy.

Busy. That is what I am . Thinking all the time. Remembering, teaching and learning about my kids. Exhausted right now. Who ever said we worry more when they are young? Not true.